Monday Mourning

I can't wear my cool new t-shirt today because of all the jokes about it matching my face. 38 minutes round Holyrood park and I'm as pink as a puddle of Calpol. What's worse is that the rest of my outfit has been attacked by my healthy homebought lunch, which has leaked Chilli Quorn Carne all through my bag and all over what I've had to change into. Oh, and I've forgotten deodorant so I smell rather savoury. Aren't you lucky you're not working alongside me today?